The Art of Showing Up Book Review: How to Be There Without Burning Out

For a long time, I thought showing up meant saying yes.

Yes to plans when I was exhausted. Yes to being the “strong one.” Yes to listening, supporting, fixing — even when I had nothing left to give.

Somewhere along the way, showing up became tangled with overextending. I believed that being a good friend, partner, or family member meant being endlessly available.

And slowly, quietly, that belief started to wear me down.

That’s why reading The Art of Showing Up felt so grounding. It put words to something many of us feel but rarely say out loud: showing up doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

The Art of Showing Up - Rachel Wilkerson Miller

The Art of Showing Up Book Review: What “Showing Up” Really Means

In The Art of Showing Up, Rachel Wilkerson Miller explores what it actually looks like to be present for the people in our lives — not perfectly, not constantly, but honestly.

Showing up isn’t about grand gestures or always having the right words. It’s about:

• Consistency over intensity

• Presence over performance

• Honesty over people-pleasing

That idea alone felt like a relief.

I realized I’d been measuring my worth in relationships by how much I gave, not how authentically I showed up. And those are very different things.

The Pressure to Be Everything to Everyone

Many of us were taught — directly or indirectly — that being needed equals being valuable.

I remember feeling guilty for needing space. If I couldn’t respond right away, I felt like I was failing someone. If I didn’t have the energy to listen deeply, I judged myself for it.

This book gently challenges that mindset.

You don’t need to be endlessly available to be deeply caring.You don’t need to burn out to prove your love.

Sometimes, showing up looks like saying, “I can’t do this right now — but I still care.”

Showing Up Imperfectly Is Still Showing Up

One of the most comforting takeaways from this book is that you don’t have to be at your best to be present.

You can show up:

• While still figuring things out

• Without fixing the problem

• Without the perfect advice

I used to avoid conversations because I didn’t know what to say. I thought silence meant failure. But this book reframed that for me.

Sometimes showing up is simply listening. Sometimes it’s sitting beside someone in the discomfort. Sometimes it’s saying, “I don’t know what to do, but I’m here.”

That counts.

Boundaries Are Part of Showing Up

This book does something important: it normalizes boundaries as a form of care.

Before, I thought boundaries meant distance. That if I said no, people would feel abandoned. But what I learned — both from this book and from experience — is that boundaries make showing up sustainable.

When you protect your energy:

• You show up with more presence

• You avoid resentment

• You build trust with yourself

I noticed that when I stopped overcommitting, my relationships actually felt calmer and more honest. I wasn’t showing up out of obligation anymore — I was choosing to be there.

Showing Up for Yourself Matters Too

One of the quieter but most powerful messages in The Art of Showing Up is that relationships don’t just exist outwardly — they exist inwardly too.

How do you show up for yourself when you’re overwhelmed?When you’re disappointed?When you don’t meet your own expectations?

I realized I was far more compassionate toward others than I was toward myself. I gave people grace but withheld it from my own mistakes and limits.

Showing up for yourself can look like:

• Resting without guilt

• Speaking kindly to yourself

• Acknowledging your limits instead of pushing past them

You deserve the same care you give so freely to others.

Redefining What It Means to Be a “Good” Friend

This book helped me release the idea that being a good friend means being constantly available.

Being a good friend can mean:

• Checking in consistently, not constantly

• Being honest instead of always agreeable

• Respecting your own capacity

I started having more open conversations. Saying things like, “I don’t have the energy for a long call, but I can text,” or “I care about this, but I need to rest tonight.”

Those small shifts changed everything.

Why This Book Feels So Relatable

What makes The Art of Showing Up especially powerful is how realistic it is. It doesn’t demand perfection. It doesn’t offer rigid rules. It acknowledges that relationships are messy, evolving, and deeply human.

It meets you where you are — whether you’re:

• Feeling disconnected

• Struggling to balance closeness and independence

• Learning how to care without self-abandonment

And it reminds you that you’re allowed to show up as you are, not as who you think you should be.

Final Thoughts

Showing up is not about doing more. It’s about being real. It’s about presence, honesty, and care — including care for yourself.

If you’ve ever felt torn between being there for others and protecting your own energy, I hope the art of showing up book review helps.

The Art of Showing Up offers a grounded, compassionate perspective that feels both validating and freeing.

You don’t have to disappear to be dependable. You don’t have to over give to be loving.

Showing up starts with being honest — with others and with yourself.

(You can find it on Amazon here — this is an affiliate link that helps support Thrive Within Now at no extra cost to you.)

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